How To Form A Love Map While Dating

 

While driving faster than the speed limit on the highway

may get to your destination faster, is it worth the risk?

Rushing through dating can be just as risky to your

emotions.

 

To rush the dating process simply is not worth the long-term

risk. The best way to develop a solid relationship is to

devote the time to making a stable love map while dating.

What a mistake it is to whiz past the crucial road signs

that told about the detours and potholes ahead. Once you

reach the troublesome areas of the road without a good and

solid love map, you may simply be headed for the next exit

ramp that leads to nowhere.

 

Taking advantage of forming a meaningful love map during the

dating process is similar to taking out an insurance plan on

your compatibility with one another. While a love map may

need to be revisited from time to time during the dating

period and throughout a committed relationship, this useful

plan should be strong enough to withstand the test of time

when changes do occur. Another great advantage of creating

a love map is your relationship is enhanced by the high

times and your desire to stay the course is confirmed when

life throws you lemons.

 

Nature has endowed us with an innate mutual attraction at

the beginning of a relationship. While this first

attraction may be simply chemical, we begin to form a love

map without much help from the outside world. Once the

attraction to a potential mate begins, you need to set

aside your preconceived notions about what a relationship

should be like and what you were expecting in a perfect

mate. Instead, focus on gaining an understanding of who

this person is and how well this person begins to understand

who you are. At this point, you begin to form a love map

that shapes a more permanent relationship.

 

That seems simple enough; people readily acknowledge that

the dating period is a time to get to know each other.

But at the time when the emotions are the highest and the

other person seems so perfect, make the effort to move your

feelings from your heart to your head. Recognize rationally

the characteristics of this person that you are dating.

Slow the dating process down so that you understand why you

feel about this person as you do. Then your love map will

be accurate and you have good information for deciding the

fate of this dating relationship.

 

What is in your love map is highly individual and between

the two people involved and their level of intimacy. And

sometimes it isn't the major intersections in the love map

that are the most important. For some people, the little

side roads are the important things that keep the

relationship together for the journey as time goes on.

 

A good book for exploring love maps is John Gottman's book

"The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work". To help

you form a deep and lasting love map, take the time to

consult the United States Army's Office of the Chief of

Chaplains web site. There you will find "The Love Map 20

Question Game." You may find it interesting to answer the

questionnaires or the sample true and false quizzes to

assess the state of your dating love map.

 

Copyright 2005 Dane di Fino. All rights reserved.

 

Dane di Fino is the owner and operator of FIU

Dating Info which is

a principal resource of dating information on the

internet. Be sure to visit his complete archive of

articles here:

 

 

Back to Romanticatheart.com Back to The Passion Pit